it's exactly a month after msian pi day (i.e. 14/3 but 15/3 in msia time) and my life has srsly changed like A LOT A LOT so here's kinda what has happened :D
context: pi day is the day mit regular decisions are released
pre-pi day:
honestly idk, i was definitely waiting on it (prayed like every day) but at the same time, i also felt quite detached and neutral?? in the sense that i wasnt worrying/stressing abt it 24/7 or smth 🙃. i also felt quite neutral abt my chances. i felt like my chances were there ig, but i was also doubting myself bcs i didnt hv pre-uni + had strong competitors, AND ALSO one of my friends who also applied (very impressive guy btw) hypothesised that mybe they're not gonna accept anyone this year to make the yr2yr avg 1 person (since last year they alry accepted two which is rare) and i was like AAA DAMN YE THO 💀😭💀😭 but then again, like i said, i somehow wasnt overthinking it WHICH IS SUPER STRANGE FOR LEIA :P (but actually kinda normal at the same time). oh and the day of the results happened to clash with apmo, so i decided to check it after apmo la cuz i dowanna be emo during apmo if i get rejected ykwim 💀💀
pi day:
i wake up to texts from two of my friends (who both do olympiads and are insanely impressive) that they got FLAT OUT REJECTED - not a good way to start the morning 😭😭😭. i kinda saw this as a bad sign bcs mybe his hypothesis was right (i.e. intentionally not accepting anyone this year) bcs we had THREE waitlists last year so like are they srsly THAT harsh that they're not even gonna waitlist them?? (like i rlly think they shdve been at least waitlisted, like i mean if even i was waitlisted last year likeeeee-). yea so bcs they weren't even waitlisted, from my pov i saw it as "theyve made up their mind to not accept any msian this year -> reject everyone, not even waitlists". so yea atp i was pretty confident i was gonna get rejected la ☹️☹️ well then i took apmo (and it went rlly bad btw but wtv) then i got home and chilled for a bit and got ready to open my decision letter 🥶 my gameplan was basically to lie down and scroll on phone to get myself sleepy then get rejected check results then SLEEP 👏🏻 also my parents weren't home so i can check it whenever i want (no pressure) and more importantly, i can REACT however i want. so pretty good plan if u ask me 😌☝️. anyway ye so i was on yt and i was TOTALLY PROCRASTINATING IT until at some point daryl texted (asking if ive checked) and i was like "aaghhhh okay yea it's been long enough, i shd check it" so i opened the portal bla bla bla login bla bla bla click this click that bla bla bla view status update AND AAAAAAHAJSJDNDMFJJSJSJDFGSJJDFHHDJSD CONFETTI???? 😯😯😭😭 i made sure to restrain my emotions first before being 100% sure, and after exiting then clicking it again, i saw the confetti for the second time (i didnt even read the damn letter 💀). i was like rlly rlly happy and grateful and shocked and cried a bit (ive never cried tears of joy before). anyway then i exported the pdf and sent it into my family grp chat and said "aw :(" HAHAHAHAHAHA
i think after that i told daryl and syarif and idk. a few minutes later, my mum called (as a reminder, my parents weren't at home at the time so yea) cuz she was confused cuz i said ":(" but the letter said "accepted" SO HAHAHAHA THAT WAS FUNNY. yeap then we were super happy, and then my dad left a super non-chalant response in our grp chat after finding out (most typical dad reaction 🤡) HAHAHSJDJNFG
syarif told madam dee then i had a short call with her, then after that the news spread like WILDFIRE BRO LIKE NOT EVEN KIDDING, WITHIN THE FIRST HOUR SO MANY PPL KNEW HSJSJDNDNFJGNGJDJDF 💀💀💀
post-pi day:
everything happened SO FAST. pi day was on saturday, then on that monday we had a meeting with the school and i skipped like all my morning classes. it's kinda fuzzy after that but media went wild too. i was on rtm, then hotfm, then bernama, and even en as i type this i hv more stuff coming up. like posts hv been all over social media (ig, fb, x, tt) as well and its rlly funny cuz idek abt them till my friends send them to me lol HELP 💀💀💀 another funny thing is how everyone is claiming credit, and some comments (the stupid ones, specifically) r like rlly funny to read too HAHAHSHDJF 🍿🍿🍿 yea idk it's just crazy cuz everything happened SO DAMN FAST. 2 weeks after the decisions i LEFT SCHOOL. and tu pun, many of the days i wasnt there (either for media coverage, or for meetings with school/MARA). ITS JUST CRAAAAZY HOW QUICKLY MY LIFE CHANGED BCS IM NOT IN SCHOOL NOW AND IM JUST CHILLING AND ITS WEIRD TO THINK ABT HOW COMPLETELY DIFF MY LIFE WOULD BE RN HAD I NOT BEEN ACCEPTED 😭😭😭 oh yes also, MARA agreed to give me a full-ride scholarship, like IM ACTUALLY LIVING A MIRACLE RN??? 🥺🥺🥹🥹
reflection?:
here's what i said to my vry awesome classmate 2 days ago in response to "what do u feel?", which i believe is actually an amazing summary of what im feeling rn, a month later: "it's STILL surreal and i cant express in words how happy/ grateful i am. im rlly excited to go there, learn and meet cool ppl there, but at the same time very anxious abt feeling stressed, stupid, or like i don't fit in there. still so so stoked tho. i reaaaalllyy hope i make good use of this opportunity/privilege."
ya know it's rlly funny to think how life just works itself out lol. a rlly nice thing abt blogging/journalling is that i get to revisit a "state of life" but this time with spoilers from the future. like in this case, it's funny to reread stuff from when i was applying and waiting on results (when now i alry know i got in), or from the time i was disappointed with not landing any better scholarships (when now i can't even express how grateful i am for MARA) - it's like, now i can just laugh at my past self cuz i now know everything was for the better 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
honestly i could rant on and on abt how funny life is, but it's almost 4am and i hv stuff to do so yea, mybe i'll save that for another day. quick life update tho: i got back from MBL-B like 4 days ago (will write abt that soon - also somehow im not overly depressed rn so that's good), and im shifting houses this saturday (i hv not packed ANYTHING), and i hv APLO this sunday (dont wanna set my hopes too high but itd be rlly nice if i can make the camp since it's my last high school opportunity rip :'D). GNITE