hallo im currently sitting in my room while sadly and pathetically snacking on m&ms and i just finished my second chem midterm like 1.5hrs ago. overall it was AWFUL (awful is truly an understatement here) and i didnt even hv time to actually do the paper properly. but everyone else died too so that makes me feel a bit better but WAIT i hv more to cerita than that bcs i truly feel so awful now lol. also also jap before i explain what happened, i also hv a python pset due tnite at 10 and a physics pset due tmr night at 11, BOTH OF WHICH R STILL FAR FROM COMPLETION and also i hv another 2 midterms next week so AAAJKAKEG very hosed very cooked very die BUT STILL thats not whats making me feel so die rn, like yes theyre adding on to my current state of awfulness but i dont rlly mind like thats normal mit life i guess and ik i can power thru that BUT HERES WHAT HAPPENED
ok yes so u see sometime last week, some ppl from celsius were standing in front of lobby 7 (place where a lot of mit ppl will pass by), handing out free celsiuses which is some drink, which btw ive never tried before. i was passing by so i took one je la not knowing what it was, then aft i took one i thought it was just some random fruit flavoured drink or IDK. pastu when i got back to my room, like i was just telling my roommate like "oh did u get a celsius" or idk idr but then she told me they were caffeinated and i was like "ooo hah okay kool noted" and so i was thinking i'll just keep it for another time sbb waktu tu dah malam kut???
olrait jap i hv to go for a class now (iceskating - i hope that makes me feel better) so sambung nnti
okey hai its 5pm i just finished my programming class and i still feel kinda oof (even tho i shd rlly be better by now?) lol. i was completely tapped out during that class today AND THEN GET THIS... so like im already feeling horrible as it is right, and my brain is getting fried from my pset while my professor is going on abt god knows what. THEN HALFWAY THRU THE CLASS. THE STUPID FIRE ALARM DECIDES TO GO OFF (but there was no fire and no one did anything abt it). so like. for 45 MINUTES. I HAD TO ENDURE THIS FAINT TORTUROUS HIGH-PITCH RINGING NOISE LIKE OH MY GOODNESSSSSDHSADJSAHJAAAAA literal trauma weh
wait ya anyway back to the celsius story. ok la so i simpan my celsius and now for context, i do NOTT drink coffee/take caffeine besides sometimes drinking tea or like coke or smth which is like mehhh. but i always hear ppl talk abt how they feel so sharp/focused on caffeine so im like, "well... i hv a celsius... i guess a good time to hv it is before my 3.091 midterm on wednesday!!" okay COOL awesome plan leia. now fast forward to this morning and i get up at 8 and sip on my celsius from around 9 to 11. also btw the celsius tasted very like, strong? (okay it wasnt that strong but it was stronger than i liked it to be) so i had to dilute it with water lol (bruh looking back this was already my first warning sign rip) and tbh it wasnt even that good. but yea i continue to revise and im feeling GOODD btw cuz i kid u not, in my mind, this can of celsius was gonna give me SUPERPOWERS for that midterm alright, TRUST
now fast forward to my midterm at 11. it starts out fine but like 20-ish minutes in, i start feeling RLLY BAD. physically i felt fine but my mind felt like throwing up dude idk how to explain it. i genuinely dk how to explain what i felt but my mind felt SICK and i was lowkey scared i was suddenly gonna black out or smth. and that feeling, compounded w exam time pressure and warmness of the room, made me srsly PANIC panic and at that point i was legit questioning whether or not i could get thru the exam in that mental state. i had to stop for a bit to take off my hoodie, drink some water and take some deep breaths, then i continued to power thru the rest of the exam but WOW believe me when i say i felt HORRIBLE, like my mind felt SO OFF dude
as one might expect, i was rlly regretting the celsius at that moment. now if u're thinking "well leia why do u think it's the celsius, could very well be smth else" well yea u hv a point and i guess i can never be fully sure of it but trust me, i hv good reason to believe it was the celsius bcs (1) i had bfast, had a decent amt of sleep, etc etc, (2) im pretty chill during exams so its not extreme exam nerves or anything, (3) ive experienced headaches and lightheadedness in my life before, but NEVER a sensation like that
then right after the exam, i attended my recitation (bro omg i deserve an award for still showing up after bombing my exam + in that mental state) and i was like "damn i feel horrible, celsius is horrible, ugh how much caffeine is in that anyway" so i google it and its 200MG BRUH, which is like 2 cups of coffee. to further put that into perspective, one can of red bull has 80mg, one can of monster has 160mg, and one can of prime is also 200mg. so 200mg is kinda on the high end for energy drinks and yea there ARE energy drinks w even higher caffeine content, BUT MIND U, the most caffeine ive consumed within a short amount of time (prior to today) has to be like MAXX 100mg or smth man, cuz i dont drink coffee/energy drinks and stuff like coke/tea dont hv NEARLY as much as 200mg ughhhshshdHAHSHD and yes ik my roommate warned me there was caffeine but IDK i just didnt think thered be THAT much (i think i never fully processed that celsius is an energy drink, i just saw it as a fruit tea??) and i didnt think caffeine could treat me so awfully so likeeee
yea so anyway i got absolutely cooked in the exam but tbh even if i werent high on celsius i wdve died either way so cam hurm takpela HAHAHAHA. its already malam now as i type this part and im already better yay (and ive also submitted my pset yayay). but yes that was a very traumatizing character-building experience lol. im never touching a celsius again and i think its kinda ironic how their marketing strategy completely backfired on me lolololol
update: i ended up doing more than fine in that chem midterm ONLY cuz they graded out of 83 (lol yea it was THAT bad) so THANK GODDD
okay now on another note i hv some super devastating news and it truly breaks my heart to share this here...
first of all, go to this post and check out #2 (the mike and sulley one). i said and i quote: "idk it's just so cute and makes me so happy and i'd be so heartbroken if one of them ever goes missing ā¹ļøš". SIKE WELL GUESS WHAT. I AM CURRENTLY HEARTBROKEN. CUZ FRICKING SULLEY WENT MISSINGGGGGG NOOOOO AAAAAHDJSAHJDSA *crashes out again. i was doing my laundry haritu pastu i ALWAYS make sure that my socks are in pairs tau, then i always put them in a net FOR THE SPECIFIC REASON OF TAKUT THEY GO MISSING. tapi while they were in the dryer the net terbukak (IDK HOW MAN) and waktu tu i was in a rush when i went to get my clothes from the dryer so i just stuffed all my clothes into a bag then left AND YES I DID DO A FINAL QUICK CHECK BUT DANG IT BRO IDK HOW I MISSED IT?? and aft i realised sulley wasnt in my bag, i asked ppl in my dorm grpchat and checked the laundry room a couple of times after that but IT WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUNDDD omg ugh im literally so sad ššš like WEH of ALL the socks of mine that could hilang, WHYD IT HAVE TO BE SULLEY?!?! LIKE MAN TAKE MY UGLY SOCKS INSTEAD LA SIA, THE WORLD IS JUST MESSING W ME BRUH
anyway, lets dedicate a moment of silence in honor of sulley. he was a wonderful cute sock to me who never failed to make me happy, and the bestest bestfriend mike could ever ask for. may he one day find his way back to us. we will be patiently awaiting his return and missing him dearly.
ššš rip sulley (july 2023 - october 2025) ššš