math oly makes me feel REALLY STUPID every single day. like for the past 3 years, every day i'd spend HOURSSS on problems i can't solve, to the point that im literally soo used to always feeling stupid (not necessarily in a bad way tho?). plus, everyone around me in bengkel imo has like at least twice my iq and are sweeping 2 or 3 kinds of olympiads at once (+chess +scrabble +idk), meanwhile im struggling to even get decently good at one đĨ˛đ SO, today is 16 june, which means i hv exactly 30 days till imo day 1. soo to prove my point, i decided it'd be fun to document the things that make me feel stupid every day for these 30 days HAHAHAHHA
day 1: got another 0 in today's mock heh (*smiles in pain). completely failed today's p4 (which used some QR stuff), AND to make things worse, megavan said that question was JOM-able (i.e. suitable for junior math oly) so basically that means i failed at a junior-level problem, how nice to know huh đđ
day 2: today is raya haji so i was out like the whole day, implying that i basically didn't do any math at all (besides a lil bit at night). so yea not doing math today makes me feel like im making myself stupid wee woo. (if i do math, i feel stupid. if i DONT do math, i also feel stupid. conclusion: stupidity is a not a choice for me đđ)
day 3: i was STRUGGLINGGG with some problem involving orders/primitive roots, and as i was doing it i was like, "oh damn i rmbr i did smth like this in TST and the same thing can be applied here," BUT I WAS STRUGGLING WHICH MEANSSSSS I'VE ONLY GOTTEN DUMBER HELPPP đđ also my brain shortcircuit-ed and i cdnt understand why x | a, x | b implies x | gcd(a,b) which is like super fundamental đ my self-esteem today đđ
day 4: AAAAA today my brain said "x^(p-1/2)=-1 (mod p) implies x is a primitive root" PLEASE SAVE ME I FEEL LIKE MY BRAIN HAS LOST ALL ITS JUICE đ
day 5: non-math oly instance first - was practicing for interviews in malay, and i wanted to say "upload" (which is memuatnaik), but i literally FORGOT the word and said "menaikmuat" AAAADHSAJDHAS đ anyway i am so absolutely mind-blowingly astoundingly STUPID in the language that's supposed to be my "mother tongue", and im actually so unprepared for interviews in general đ okay math oly one - at night i joined a session with vladimir (imo 2009 gold medallist), and it was just me n him at first. and then someone (she-who-shall-not-be-named), joined in. and basically last week she proposed some frickin INSANE polynomial problem, so they continued to discuss their progress while i was just there like đđ and she's 2 years younger than me so YEA that reminded me im DUMB. (ok i hope she nvr sees this but if ur her: stop making me feel stupid. thanks.)
day 6: PFFTTT didn't do math oly today (besides coming up with a few problem proposals) but i always find a way to be stupid!! for context, the comment system thats used in this site is an external service, which i found while hunting for the best (free) comment system. ok u can prolly see where this is going. APPARENTLY, they USED to hv a free plan. but i just figured out only today that... they... don't anymore đđ HDSJADHASJ WHY AM I SO STUPID đ so either i'll migrate to another comment system (that's free but sucks + i lose existing comments), OR i could pay $4/month to keep this one. or i could exploit free trials.
day 7: hallo today while grading ysc, my brain took forever to process that p+(p+2)=4^k implies p+1=2^(2k-1) âšī¸âšī¸ lol then in the meantime, daryl and i attempted the ysc linguistics problems and ERR kinda failed đđ also the problem we tried had an avg score of like 6/13 (according to ming wen) and we could barely make sense of it AAHDSJHDAJ
day 8: OKAY TODAY WAS JUST A RLLY BAD DAY AND I DIDNT DO ANY MATH OLY SO MY IQ DROPPED BY 200 POINTS TODAY SLAY đĨ˛đĨ˛
day 9: uhh ykyk imo 2022 p2 which everyone says like "shdnt be a p2", "easier than p1", "this is 5M" - yea i learnt the sol a long time ago but i forgot it so i decided to revisit it today AND IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO FIGURE IT OUT BRUH đ AND TAKE NOTE THAT ALTHOUGH I DIDN'T RLLY RMBR THE SOL, IVE STILL SEEN IT BEFORE THOOO AAAAAAA IM DOIN SO BAD RN
day 10: hello today i wasn't able to solve an N1 which i've seen before 2 or 3 years ago!! how amazing!! i love being reminded that i can't even solve the easiest N on ISL - even if i've seen its sol before!! đđ
day 11: off topic but I CUT A CAN IN HALF TODAY USING NOTHING ELSE BUT A CAN.
day 12: okay ive known the theory for QRs for so long now but i legit nvr used it and nvr knew how to use it. so on the bright side, i just figured out a good way to use it!! on the down side, i JUST figured out a good way to use it đđ
day 13: im not proud of it but i gave up on a few NT problems without trying it properly, and just straight up read their sols on aops đđ also there was this one problem i saw a long time ago from MONT, and i cdnt solve it HDASJHDAJSHJ đĨ˛ AAAAA THIS IS HORRIBLE
day 14: lmao while waiting to be called in for my interview today, i decided to look thru balkan MO SL NT problems, and just go thru the sols... but... WHY ARE THEY SO DIFFICULT BRUH?? OR AM I GENUINELY THAT STUPID?? like i was looking at the N1s and theyre so DIE đ yea i prolly shdve done smth else bef the interview instead of demolishing my self-confidence đ
day 15: uhhhh my day felt non-existent...? i looked at some NT stuff but decided i shd go back to A and C. guess what... I CAN'T EVEN DO BASIC C INDUCTION AAAAAAAAAA âšī¸âšī¸ tmr hardcore FT begins so im looking forward to more 0s yay
day 16: mock p1 today was NT and one part of it is to find construction but... my. IDIOT. brain. overkilled. with. some. stupid. wacky. existence. thingy. even. tho. the. direct. construction. was. DAMN. SIMPLE. đ kinda embarrassing how i missed smth so easy and obvious honestly aaaaaa đ also the p2 was literally trivial and i spent way longer than i shdve âšī¸ hahshdfjgj i think my geom skills hv seriously deteriorated after 2 months of neglect đđ
day 17: idk what i did today la. overall a pretty useless day for me which means im only getting dumber!! đĨŗđĨŗ
day 18: didn't do math oly cuz had a scholarship assessment the entire day, but everyone around me was super smart and cool and social and it made me feel a bit er đđ. but honestly it was rlly nice getting to know them so wtv la. also when i had to leave, i cdnt find my IC this morning and confidently told my mum it was with her but uhhh it WASNT, and my stupid brain cdnt rmbr where i put it (but i found it eventually) so yea u can imagine my mum was mad at me for being forgetful, irresponsible and last minute đđģđđģ
day 19: ANOTHER 0 TO ADD TO MY COLLECTIONNNNN đĨđĨđĨ it was horrible and that 4.5 hours was pain cuz i was makin absolutely no progress. also im pretty sure everyone else solved that problem but me đđ
day 20: went to MAP today LESGO. also real mock imo (from SL) started today and i hvnt taken yet but i kinda heard abt how well other ppl did (including non-imo team) and i dont think i can live up to that SO đđ oh ya also aida said she reads this so HI AIDA đđ
day 21: finished p4 instantly then did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING after that. ig it's fine tho cuz it was hard C anyway but man i gotta fix my mindset so i can actually farm partials in imo.
day 22: same thing bruh, did p7 then basically nothing after that. i- i- đđđ
day 23: yep i think i've just hit peak depression T-T i wanna cry, die, puke, scream all at once thanks. didn't get a single problem in mock today (not even close) and i did absolutely crap compared to everyone else. yep if ur wondering what i'll be doing within this 1 week till imo, i'll be in my room crying and wondering why i can't be as smart as everyone else sigh đ
day 24: okay im a bit less emo now cuz at least i got 2 solves today which was miraculously enough for silver in mock 1 yay. still feel stupid abt mock 2 (only non-medal in team) but wtv.
day 25: i did some ez ISLs very lazily today just to boost my confidence or wtv bcs yes my self-esteem is THAT fragile and i can't afford to suddenly go into panic mode after realising there's still so much idk and suck at sigh ._.
day 26: i was lookin thru "problems from the book" today and WHAT IN THE FRICKIN HECK- WHY ISSIT SO HARD??? everything is so big brain and EEEEEEEEEE it makes me feel like ik absolutely nothing bout math LMAO. ah and also i was reminded today once again abt how easy the mock g6 is AAAAAAAAAAA IM NOT READY FOR IMO. oh off-topic but ah, this is not rlly ME being stupid, more like feeling second-hand stupidity on behalf of someone - but i found out today that my 12y/o brother doesn't know what "noon" is, and also can't recite the 12 months in order. gen alpha is screwed guys.
day 27: bro i can't believe i'm flying tmr- i feel so... defeated?? like im so not ready and- AGHHHDSAHJDHSAJHSAJ i kinda wasted my day today but i reviewed some problems including the c2 i didn't solve during mock day 4. and wow yea it made me realise after all these years, i STILL can't do combi and uhm im rlly worried for my future self HDAJDHASJ OH WELL!! T-T
day 28: er minivan and daryl keep playing chess/chess puzzles and i dont understand whats going on so i'd just stare cluelessly đ¤Ąđ¤Ą and ofc being wt the team makes me feel dum cuz everyone is 200IQ while im negative IQ đđ
day 29: took the bus from the airport to the uni and the other teams in the bus were frickin SINGAPORE AND CHINA AND INDONESIA. i dont think ive ever felt so dumb in a bus before đ also in the bus i attempted a g6 (like, constructed the diagram in geogebra) and then gave up after like 2 minutes of staring at the diagram HEHEHJDASHDJAS i decided it's probably more healthy for me to just vibe to music instead of wasting brain juice đ¯đ¯
day 30: DHJSAHDSJA ITS A DAY BEF IMO AND I DIED AT A G2 đ i made some dumb careless mistake and did smth wrong in my angle chase, so after that i thought chasing ratios shd solve it but the ratios didnt seem to work out SO I WASTED LOTS OF TIME. and then i only realised my mistake while showing my progress to wjr đđ